Letting in the Light

It’s almost Noon and I’m still on coffee cup number one, I was up until 2am last night making updates to the Social Notes website, hunting for events that might be of interest, and basically enjoying the groove of some newage yoga/spa playlists on Spotify. Time has been slipping through my hands like sand since I moved to Texas; Sometimes I wonder if we didn’t drive through a space time portal on the way from Virginia. Everything takes more time than I think it should, and I’m likely trying to do too much as I draw this picture of how I want my life to be. I’m spending too much time alone in my office, but there’s so much I want to accomplish and there’s not enough time – or is that just an excuse to indulge my social anxiety? ::shrug::

I shared my “master plan” with someone last week, as I peeled back the layers of my ideas, I could feel the person I was sharing this with become more and more skeptical until the “aha” moment. Let’s see what you think… about 20 years ago I had a vision of my future life. I wanted to live a life where I spent my time with women encouraging them to follow their passions. I think today they call that Life Coaching? I see a non-traditional classroom (an older home with wood floors) filled with light and people coming together to open themselves up to the creative process be it art, music, writing, dance, and even yoga. That’s the goal in my life, to bring light to those who’ve lost sight of their own.

To get there I need a solid foundation because it’s tough to make dreams happen on an empty stomach.

Step 1: get my freelance life going. In a stroke of sleepy brilliance I decided to name my new business BriteSide Web Design – because you can’t pitch clients without a business, so there ya go.

Step 2: figure out a way to have a “passive income” – that’s a buzz phrase on the internet right now. There’s nothing passive about the project I’m doing for step 2, it’s called Maven & Potts and “It’s not your Momma’s craft magazine”, with the help of some friends I’m going to be doing a monthly web publication for people who want to craft but are intimidated by the perfect pics on Pinterest and Instagram. Eventually, Maven & Potts will have a low-cost monthly subscription, and will host online webinars and (fingers crossed) generate enough income that I can ease away from Step 1 and spend more time having fun with Step 2. If you want to help let me know!

And, after that? Step 3: that’s my 2018 non-profit dream where I create what will become a kick-ass resource for women of Houston to come, connect, explore, and grow in a safe, non-judgemental environment. Phew, that’s a lot right? But did you get to Step 3 and go Aha!? The ducks need to be in a row…

And, this is where all that work I’ve done to be a healthier person begins to kick in.

I’ve been struggling with time because I’ve let a project I don’t have passion for get in the way of ones I do simply because I thought it was going to be “good for business” and there’s no time in my life for that. I want to help build our lesbian community, I want to build Social Notes online presence, I want to have time to train the volunteers who want to help, I need energy to go out and make friends, I need to have time to plan the non-profit and make connections of those who’d like to help. I don’t want Social Notes to be relegated to late night “whiskey and spa music” hours (no matter how cool that is). I want/need Social Notes to be a serious living, breathing part of my life. So, I have to be honest and let go of that which my ego wanted to do but my heart has no room for, so once the newsletter goes out today I’ll create an exit plan for my other volunteer work because sometimes you have to shut a door to let in the light.

Once I free up that mental and emotional time that’s being spent on something I don’t really want in my life I can tackle this question of “how do we get Suanne out of the house?”.