I’ve always been such a huge proponent of our ability to change our lives but I never expected to find myself in the midst of a “mid-life crisis”.
My career experience has been mixed over the last 20 years between Marketing, Web Development, and Graphic Design. It’s all creative work that requires the ability to work with numbers, calculations, and formulas. I consider myself a generalist in that I’m not an “expert” but when you put all my experience together I bring value in ways that really help projects and teams succeed. The last 4 or 5 years have been a struggle – a struggle to get out of bed in the morning, a struggle to stay on top of advances in technology, a struggle to know where I fit in – so a year ago I decided to focus on WordPress Development, it’s something I enjoy and am good at, I’ve been working with a great team but that contract ended March 31, and here I am.
I’ve got some time and the idea to remake my life dramatically and it’s terrifying – I’m going to go into business for myself utilizing all those skills I’ve worked so hard to gain at big corporations to support small businesses. It sounds so simple, right? But there’s a reason that they call it a “crisis” and coming to a place where this idea seems the smartest has been difficult. I have to accept the idea that I’m capable, and that “I CAN”, I have to own the reality that I’m as skilled and valuable as others who are doing this type of work; You know… it’s that tricky self-esteem & self-image thing, that I’m struggling with – and the memories of my Mother’s voice telling me that I will never make it on my own.
My Mother was wrong, and that she would say something like that to me is more about her own self-esteem & self-image (plus poor parenting skills) than anything she may have known about me. I can do this, scared or not. And, once I have a client network started, I will have the time in my schedule to begin exploring my dream of teaching others to follow their creative vision as a path towards healthy self-esteem, to cultivate opportunities to begin public speaking, and so much more – I will have the ability to live the life I’ve dreamed of for two decades, my authentic life.
We each have the ability to make changes, small and large, in our lives – we just have to want those changes more than we are afraid of what happens if we don’t try, or what happens if we fail.
Wishing you JOY,